Theory of Youthful Warming
Until age 16 admin had a stable heart rate of 100bpm, now he wonders if it is so that it well could be pupils must be of the defensive cold hearted type and NOT the pupil type that becomes obstinate and hot headed once material is not understood. Thus defensive hair is preferred. Long and covering the sides of girls face and not brushed to the back, so resp cold and hot.
So with my pacemaker, I could not appreciate the obstinate learning style. Also interest in Teaching. Probably quite obvious, Penny school so there you have it!
Youthful warming illustrations
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Theory of Secret Weapon
In admins class we lost a 16yo girl to blood cancer. This gave our class a special characteristic which both pupils and teachers recognised. Admin cannot exactly describe this characteristic, but he did have the misconception note well, that all fellow pupils would have a future ALONE, and with her dying and power as a secret pepper for carpe diem, enjoying to the max.
For admin this probably influenced his coding key to identifying with pop & rock music. What I mean is that to identify one has to bend the meaning, so there is a secret in between state between a songs meaning and being able to identify with the song.
So for admin this in between was the secret power sauce of his beloved classmate who died.
Thus colouring all music listening and music making. Leading to psychosis, living on disability and meeting her in admin's own mind and fantastic psychosis.
http://www.pearltrees.com/lijpje/the-hand-i-was-dealt/id75276771
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Final
In 2021 I dropped my classmate, well, into heaven :). In 2022 I dropped hope for the climate, and quit phantom university.